If I would just grab a hold of God with both hands I couldn’t hold onto all the other junk, the treasures of this world that keep me away from God. So many things that I let come between God and myself. He doesn’t put them there, I do.
Holding on with both hands.
Lately it’s almost funny, everything I put between us, God keeps ripping away. Like he is bound and determined to have me right in his path, unable to hide behind anything. Money, work, relationships. You name it over the past couple of years it has been torn away, or moved to the side. Just one example, I’m a bit of a workaholic, and over the past year work has reached the point that by 5pm I can’t find anything else to do. After all how many follow-up calls, or letters can I send?
All of that other stuff does not seem that important anymore. The more I know of God the more he seems to want me to know of him. Almost like one of those nesting toys, only God is doing the work revealing himself more.
Although I must admit I struggle with being afraid of really completely letting go of the other stuff 100%. Typical goofy worries, what if he sends me to Africa, kind of thoughts. Excuses really. I keep coming up with one baloney reason after another to not just grab a hold with both hands and hang on as tight as I can. I guess my belief is not all I had hoped it would be at this point of my life.
What things are you grasping at? Afraid of what might happen if you let go of that one little area? Or am I the only one?