I am wondering about having a longing for God. I want to want nothing more than God. And I know that there truly is nothing more. I intellectually want and desire nothing more than all of God. Mentally I desire to settle for nothing less. Physically I go to my knees, face to the ground and ask for the fullness of God.
Willing to settle?
But day after day I get up,and go my way. Off to work I go without what I came for. Is it too much? I come to God and like Jesus example I ask for a fish, an egg, and most certainly the Father won’t give me a scorpion, or a stone. But is he saying to me, “you have no idea what it is you are asking for.” Does he hold back, not for his sake, but for mine?
Is God holding back, hesitating a moment to allow me the time to build the muscle so I can lift the load that is coming. What if it takes tough guys to handle knowing God? Is it really for the 98lb. Weakling to lift up God?
I don’t think so, we serve a big God, shouldn’t it take broad shoulders to carry him into a world that is lost, hurting hopeless.
At the same time I think of Thanksgiving day. All the sights the sounds, but especially the smells. I know Thanksgiving is nearly a year away, but right now thinking about it can you smell the Turkey, the gravy. I think about the hunger building, the anticipation. Being famished, and the smell makes it worse. Is that sometimes the way God works. Building the desire by letting us smell, maybe even see, but holding back the feast, for a moment. Should I settle, taking what is there right now, or do I wait? Refusing to get up until God gives me what I need?
Especially since what I really truly need is all of him.