How much time, energy, and effort am I wasting trying to keep my failures, and short-comings secret from the one who already knows everything. Not only what I have already done but what I will do.

Love that makes no sense

The God who created everything knows not just my past which is bad enough, but also knows my failures to come.  And yet I can not really fathom this, God still chooses to love me.  He chooses to love you, faults and all.  Not because either of us deserve it, or can even hope to earn it.  I can’t, and I see so many trying.  As if that kind of love could ever be earned, deserved or purchased.  Would it even be called love if you earned it?
I don’t think so, I’m not sure what you would call it.  Maybe admiration but definitely not love.  Love real love can only be given and received freely.  Is it conditional?  It seems so at least in that we have to accept it, and why God chooses to love us.

Letting myself be loved when I don’t feel worthy

On the one hand “God so loved the world” however to experience God’s love at it’s fullest, as God desires to love us, we have to stop fighting against it.  Easier said than done.  I want it on my terms, trying to define what is really best for me.  But history clearly shows that for the lie it is.  I have made and continue to make a mess of it.  Yet all I have to do is submit.  Not a pretty word now a days, but what I need to do non the less.  Not easy, but what is really best for me.
Hard?  Yes, not because of God, because of me.  Even though I know that God wants only the best for me, and for you, I let all my junk get in the way.

Here is to submitting on more time.

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