Actually no I can’t, and neither can you. I used to always worry, no not worry, I would be terrified of what God would ask me if I submitted all of my life to Him. Was God going to ask me to go to some jungle? Would He expect me to the next Billy Graham? Would I ever survive if God wanted me to be……”insert scary job here”
As a teenager I had worried about these things. Then I walked away from God and the church in my twenties, vowing never to go back. That was until 5-6 years ago when God, being the patient and loving father he is, didn’t try to force himself on me, but wooed me. Gently calling out to me. Since that time gently coaxing me back me back to a loving relationship with Him.
Now a funny thing is happening with those old worries. Those worries from my youth are back, the same but different. At 46, my kids are grown and gone starting families of their own. Twenty years ago their mother and I divorced so I am single with no real ties to anyone or place. So now I am looking at those old fears and I wonder what I was afraid of, and where would I be now if I had yielded then.
Reading too much into the current situation?
My career has gone from being fairly successful to barley hanging on, and I am left to acknowledge that any success, any privilege that I’ve had isn’t because of me. I don’t know anymore what God has in mind, but instead of doing things my way, I’m trying to do things his. Easy? Hardly, and trying to figure it out some days is a battle. Out of my depth, or without the resources, and more than a little concerned with failure.
What if this doesn’t work? Am I kidding myself thinking I can make a difference? The only way to find out is to put it out there. Maybe it matters, or maybe all that comes back is the sound of crickets. But only one way to find out. Scared or not move forward try, or maybe more accurately in the words of Yoda “Do or do not, but there is no try.”
What about you? Is there some thing you should be doing but fear is holding you back, stopping you from putting it, or yourself out there.